You can find true power in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. That inner power is linked to self-motivation and awareness. It’s the place in the soul that will catch you if you fall. So when you feel you have that kind of support and love from within yourself then true transformation can begin.
Of course, I felt truly vulnerable in that first year after my mother passed. I cried every day. Literally each and every day. Just when I thought I didn’t have any tears left… Bam! There they were again.
And I was okay with it. I allowed myself to be sad. It was my process and I surrendered to it. Mostly, I cried alone and over things that took me by surprise, like seeing something that she loved or her favorite candy bar. My body would have this reaction that was out of my control, so I didn’t try and control it.
I was raw. I was in this amazing state of emotional transformation, completely at the mercy of my vulnerability. And I was happy about it. Colors were brighter. Sounds felt louder. And relationships became clearer. Especially my relationship with myself.
Then there was the first day that I didn’t cry. I almost missed it. Then I’d cry a few times a week. Then only once a month. And I felt my body wean itself off the tears in this organic and natural process.
Now two years after my mother’s passing I feel so strong. Because I allowed myself to be vulnerable, to cry, and be alone with my feelings, I was able to heal and reemerge with more clarity and purpose.
We must embrace all aspects of feeling and being vulnerable. Not just the big things like losing a parent, but even the little things that challenge us on a daily basis.
Vulnerability is a gift that can transform us. So allow yourself to be in the “now” of your feelings and what can enrich each second of your life.
The original blog was published in the Salimpour School blog on January 30, 2020.